Im tired. And grouchy. Havent been able to sleep since yesterday. Bad timing. It keeps replaying and my imagination keeps it to that point. Im tired. I need rest. I dont want to know anymore. I dont even feel like caring. Maybe I should give up. Wasnt so tough when i planned it. the process was bad. When I try to sleep, I keep thinking...why??? No answers.

I dont really want to care any moire. Ill leave it as it is. Im really confused right now with what i intend to do about it. Ill let time take its place.


to someone who played a rather significant role in the past.

you know what. This is exactly why i never could find someone better or like you. I am indecisive. You were exactly what I wanted. But I never saw it that way. I thought it was something else. Its been years. You've got your new friends, I have mine. I took a while to walk off everything. I wouldnt have learnt if it wasnt coz of you. I thank you for everything. Even though you wont ever see this. You were right all along. You prpbably would never know what i felt that time. you should probably not also. I dont want you to see me that way. I missed you so fucking much then. IT wasnt easy being in the same fucking class, sitting a few tables away. Maybe you felt that way too. I dont know.

This seriously feels like an old scar being ripped open and left to bleed. I dont know if you even know this. I never explained. There is no point revisiting the past. Live for today. you was always the one I based all on. Now Im going back into depression mode whenever I think of you again. I dont see why I had to do what I did.

Rather fuked up...

Now you know wy I dont want to meet you when you get back or even call you when you;re there. Friends sure. But I dont know if i actually ever moved on at all.



To someone else who may be reading this blog


You may never understand. I 've been trying to make you see all this while. And when someone else comes into the picture...I feel stupid. What is it that makes you tick? Im still trying to figure you out. I bet you knew it all along. I dont know any more. All I know is that I want you.

Right…exams over…I’m not exactly in a holiday mood. Need to drown out all my thoughts…Alcohol session anyone? I’ve got 2 bottles of sugarcane tuak and I’ll share one with you (if you end up getting so high and humping a lamp post I will not be held responsible)…


Was tagged a while back…think last month…too lazy to write this out and was kinda trying to rush me studies. So bleh.

Im supposed to come up with 8 different point about my perfect lover. Hmmm…

OK…the first one...

Gender : I’m into girls…still…sorry guys…

The different points ar…unh…physical or personal ? Nm la…later you all call me horny and perverted.

1. She has to be…around my height.
2. Someone I can talk to without and look at getting bored.
3. Doesn’t smoke drinking is fine…smoking is annoying.
4. She definatly has to accept me for being me.
5. She has to be able to communicate with ME, my friends and family (that’s a bit further down the road)
6. She should be able to cook la…I mean…seriously…Its not that hard to make maggi mee with meat balls and an egg ok?
7. She should be caring, to everyone…but me more important la…all about me what. (if this really happens its gonna be I love her…she loves me and I love me)
8. Sporting and supportive.

Actually can list a lot more le…but Im a bit lazy right now…

Bleh…I tag…Whoever is reading this. Muahahaha!

searching for the true wei

Dear God,


I know its been a while since i've actually sat down and actually thought about you.
I also know that its been a while since I've actually been rational. I know I havent been repenting, and I havent even bothered to think about anything.


Its a trend isnt it? Everytime I feel depressed or get involved in things I cannot control or when I get near to my examinations, I turn to You? Then when everythign is over...I'm back to where I was.

I dont know if that dream I had was a message from you. I've stopped dreaming..or maybe I just cant remember any dreams, You should know, after all you do know everything, even this letter I'm typing.

I dont know what snapped. Maybe it was the pressure of following you ways, maybe I just couldnt turn my back against the wishes of my family, maybe I'm just plain indecisive. Ahh...being indecisive, that is another matter we should look at wouldnt we?

I dont know what is real anymore.

I'm sure that dream was a message, a wake up call of sorts. I just wanted to say that it still bothers me when I think of it.


I'll get back to you soon. I need some time to actually complete my revision.

And oh, can I ask of you to help me in rediscovering myself? and also in everythign else?

For now, like usual the only thing I want to ask if for peace of mind. A calm breeze that cools me, a hunger to learn, the will to succeed, and teh raw confidence that I need to score for this exams. I know...its late...I started really late.

Thank You.
-wei-

untitled

writing for oneself is teh best thing to do. allows one to analyse thier own private thoughts. questions oneself in ways others dare not or never considered.


i write for my own entertainment.
what i think is funny may not appeal to others. what i do may be offensive to some.

i am bored.

exams soon.
im not so screwed for now...i finally understand how to do mdm...job order/process costing...i feel so proud...PROUD!!! hey...i did it slowly...guess i shud b passing tat sub. fis...not too sure..i knwo my problems are in depreciation...and the bank reconciliation...mainly...and unh...the shares thingy...i have not much idea...never paid much attention in class...law...pretty much screwed still...never written one single essay...cept for the ones in the test...hope i wont screw this round.


bleh