A letter to some screwed up internet service provider

I really want to write something like this to those bloody people.

Dear Sir/Madam.

RE: Crappy Streamyx Connection

In reference to the above, I would like to inform you that I have been constantly facing problems with my connection since it was installed on x.

2. With all due respect, I view your company to be a pioneer in the telecommunications for our much loved country of Malaysia. Seeing that the internet is part and parcel of telecommunication, I would suppose that this issue is not to be taken lightly.

3. The connection instability in my area has been going on for a period of x year. And this has become a bane rather than an improvement of living standards.

4. How can you expect people to use your bloody services when they can’t even stay connected for more than 10 minutes!?!?!?! Oh…I forgot…You’re a bloody MONOPOLY. No wonder. But wait…Shouldn’t you do something to maintain your position???? I know you all can hear us. You’re just lazy and don’t want to do work. Maybe it’s also because I have serious doubt in our so called justice system.

4. I was notified by your employees that the issue is caused by
i) usage of a router modem.
ii) The cables in this area having high resistance
iii) The weather

5. I would like to clarify that the issue with a router modem has no connection as we have tried using a normal typical ADSL modem and still face this problems. And what kind of lame ass reason are you giving me? The weather???? What the? Ok…now that is lame! Why does the rain make the connection go hay wire? Explain it bitch! OR I will stick my internet cable up your urethra. Then again maybe I shall stuff it into your nostrils and push it until it comes out of you non existent anus.

6. This is stupid you know. I hear bloody ads during the holidays on how to get the kids to use your so called broadband…imagine...paying for a 512 Mb line tat only delivers a quarter of that speed consistently. Streamyx…should I say…strip-my-money-from-me?
I mean. Shut the fuck up about your crappy services…polish up your bloody customer support also. The fucking people cannot even understand English. And yes…They are good hardworking people who try to help us…but they are also stubborn and not too helpful. You want to know why? I called…they said it’s my problem, what kind of help is that. Typical…push the blame around.


7. I have given up all hope in your services. I hope that your own internet connection fail you. And may the Gods command all the serpents to spit venom into your eyes when you wake up in the morning.


Your Sincerely,
-wei-